


The Big Picture

by violethoure666



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben is embarrassed about his sex noises, F/M, Masturbation, Miscommunication, Misunderstanding, New Relationship, One Shot, just a spoonful, very brief angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:08:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22269940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violethoure666/pseuds/violethoure666
Summary: Rey’s new relationship is perfect. Well, almost perfect, if she ignores the fact that her boyfriend Ben is nearly silent during sex, no matter what she does. Then Rey catches him jerking off... very, very loudly.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 147
Kudos: 1682





	The Big Picture

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TourmalineGreen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TourmalineGreen/gifts).
  * Translation into Русский available: [Картина в целом](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22647838) by [Scofie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scofie/pseuds/Scofie)



> For Trixie, who deserves the world.

**Is it your fear of being buried**  
**That makes you so afraid to speak?**  
**An avalanche of opinions**  
**Like the one that fell that I'm now underneath**  
**It was my voice that moved the first rock**  
**And I would do it all again**  
**I mean, it's cool if you keep quiet**  
**But I like singing**

**Bright Eyes - The Big Picture**

Rey loves having sex with Ben. 

He’s big, and strong, and he takes his time with her, opens her up slowly with his mouth and his thick fingers. She loves the feeling of his stubble against her thighs or her cheeks, she loves the way his cock feels when he presses into her, the pleasurable burn, stretch and fullness. 

Rey loves having sex with Ben; it’s just that she isn’t sure Ben loves having sex with _her_. 

It’s a dumb thing to be worried about, probably, but she finally asks him one morning, over big bowls of sugary cereal, if he really  _ likes _ fucking her and his response is to gape at her in disbelief before dragging her upstairs to fuck her. After they’re done, he tells her that  _ yes _ , he loves having sex with her, and that should be enough to crush any doubts and yet…

He’s so quiet, so reserved. Everytime he cums, he hides his face in her neck. Everytime he fucks into her he closes his mouth, face tensing in concentration as he goes nearly silent, just huffing through his nose with the rhythm of his thrusts. 

Every time, she tries to make him break. She tries to squeeze her pussy tight,  _ tighter _ , milking him. Sometimes his eyes widen or his lips open but it never makes him make noise. 

She outright asks him to talk, one time, to tell her it feels good. 

“Please tell me Ben,  _ please _ , is it good?”

“ _ Perfect _ ,” he says, and then hides his face again.

So maybe she’s being selfish. Maybe this is just who Ben is in bed and she’s being ridiculous and unfair for wanting him to perform in a way that’s unnatural. She would be hurt if Ben told her that he wanted her to be quieter in bed, and maybe this is just as rude. She loves Ben, even if she hasn’t told him that outright— yet. There are a handful of things that would be dealbreakers but quiet sex isn’t one of them. 

But it is just a  _ little _ bit disappointing. 

Rey has always loved the sounds that men make when they lose control, but it isn’t something she needs to feel fulfilled. She does her best to let it go, focusing on all the things she loves about her relationship. The food Ben makes, the way he smells when he curls around her, how she never feels alone anymore— and it’s fine, it’s good, it’s not even a big deal. 

*******

  
  


Rey doesn’t usually leave work early, but a water main bursts under the building she works in and the entire store closes at noon. She’s supposed to go to Ben’s when she’s off at four, but she has a key and she doesn’t really want to go all the way back uptown and double back when Ben lives so close. She knows he’s at work but he gave her a key, and if not for things like this then… for what? 

It’s only a five minute walk to Ben’s but she texts him anyway. 

**Rey** : _Basement at Java Joe flooded so they sent us home, I’m gonna just head to you and I’ll be there whenever you’re off work :)_

Ben doesn’t text her back but that’s not unusual if he’s in a meeting, she uses her key and let’s herself into his apartment. It’s big and bright, and it smells like Ben. She kicks her shoes off and goes to the fridge for a La Croix— and that’s when she hears it. 

A low, heavy moan. Someone is here— someone is here and— and they are fucking. 

She goes cold, her brain stuttering to catch up because that’s not what Ben sounds like, but it is a man, and oh my god is he cheating on her? Is he home from work with a fuck buddy? 

Rage washes out terror and Rey walks down the hallway toward Ben’s room.   
  


There’s  _ whimpering _ and groaning and someone sounds like they’re absolutely fucking losing it, Rey is shaking. She cannot believe she’s about to have her own GOTCHA moment like this is Cheaters or the start of some Hallmark movie where the girl leaves her asshole boyfriend. 

Except Ben isn’t an asshole, at least, she didn’t think so… Trembling, pushes open his bedroom door. 

It takes her a minute to realize what’s happening. Ben is alone, which makes no sense, and he has his own cock in his hand, which is distracting, and his head is thrown back and he’s— he’s— grunting, moaning, whimpering like he’s hurt, mumbling nonsense as he fucks his hand. 

Rey is both relieved and crushed. 

She is very glad that he’s not fucking someone else, _full stop_ , but she also cannot understand how Ben seems to fall apart at his own touch when he— when he _never_ does when it’s her who’s touching him. 

Rey is also kind of mortified because she just burst into her boyfriend's house and then into his room and oh god, she should run— but she can’t stop watching the way he fists himself so brutally and the way his eyes are bright with unshed tears as he gasps and whinnies and bites his fist. Then his head rolls to the side and his eyes open and land on her and widen. His fist slows but doesn’t stop right away, instead squeezing the base of his cock hard enough to make him cry out again, but she has a feeling he does it to stop himself from cumming, and then hastily he tugs his briefs back up, self conscious in a way she’s never seen.

“I’m sorry— I texted— there was— flooded so I— I didn’t mean to— I can—“ Rey stops talking, shaking her head. Ben looks mortified. Rey feels like something between them has broken and she isn’t sure they can fix it. 

It’s not that he was jerking off, she couldn't care less that Ben jerks it or watches porn or whatever— it’s just so obvious that this feels good for him and that whatever she has been doing… does not.

“Rey,” he says, and he looks like he’s trying to get up the courage to explain. “Listen, I—“

“No, its okay!” Rey says, too fast and too shrill. “I shouldn’t have just come in like this that was— it’s my fault. It’s your house and you can do whatever—“ she has to stop. Tears are trapped like a tidal wave inside of her skull, burning her throat and eyes. She makes a little sobbing sound and presses her hand to her mouth. 

“Rey?” Ben says and he gets up out of bed to come toward her. She shakes her head, waving him off. 

She’s going to leave in a minute, as soon as she’s got control back. She’s going to leave and she’s not going to see Ben anymore because obviously, whatever he needs— she isn’t able to give it to him. 

He looks helpless, embarrassed and flustered and it’s so different from how he usually looks. When he makes up his mind he is so immovable. It is disorienting to see him so unsure of himself. 

“Rey I’m sorry, I— I can explain—“ 

“You don’t have to,” she says, and she’s stepping back from him. He doesn’t follow her, doesn’t try to touch her. “I get it. I’m sorry— I—“ she swallows another little sob, trying not to let sadness overwhelm her, a small bubble of anger rises in its place. “I just wish you’d been honest with me, I guess.” 

Ben reddens, his cock his still half hard in his underwear but it’s flagging now, as he nods at her. 

“I know, but I didn’t— I didn’t want to put you off, you know? I wanted to give us,” he stops and sighs, “I wanted to give us a shot.” 

Tears fall from Rey’s eyes. She needs to leave. She wishes so badly that she hadn’t come here, that she could just go on pretending things were okay. She would have been fine if she had never known how inadequate she is but now… 

“Can I just ask one thing, and then I’ll go?” 

Ben looks mortified and crushed, she’s never seen him so red, his eyes are shining as he nods. 

“Is it, like, something I’m doing wrong? Because I could try to learn, if that’s— if that's the case?” It comes out like a question, even though it isn’t. “Or is it just that you’re like— not attracted to me sexually?” That would mean there isn’t anything she can do about it, which might make it easier to just let go as opposed to trying to change how she—

“What?” Ben looks confused, and this time he does step toward her. 

Rey wipes her nose on the back of her sleeve. She can’t stop crying. She realizes, as she’s gearing up to leave him forever, that she loves him. More tears flood her eyes, her own personal broken water main.

“Maybe I could get better, I could— if you showed me how, I would try,” she whispers desperately.  _ Please just let me try to learn, I’ll do anything not to lose you.  _

Ben is suddenly in her space, she can see that he’s trembling a little bit but he doesn’t touch her. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says softly. “Rey, I— you’re amazing, why would you think you— when it’s  _ me _ who should be apologizing and I— I  _ never _ wanted you to see that, I’m so sorry. I know it’s— unattractive, to say the least.” 

His eyes slide down to the floor and he frowns, lips pursing as his jaw works. 

Rey’s browns pull together as she searches Ben’s face. 

“What am I supposed to think?” she asks, “When you clearly enjoy your own hand more than— a  _ lot _ more than—  _ than me _ .” 

Ben’s eyes snap back to her face and his lips part. “ _What_?” he says, blinking down at her. But Rey doesn’t say anything at first, just shrugs and tries to blink back tears. 

“If you just don’t find me attractive that’s— thats okay. That happens,” it’s _not_ _okay_ , but she can’t  _ say _ that. “But if it’s like— if I’m not good at sex or whatever, I could try to— you know— get better? You could show me how to make— make you feel good like that.” 

Ben starts laughing, which Rey thinks is incredibly cruel for a moment before she realizes he’s also crying. 

“Rey,” he says, “I— I love you.” He smiles and shrugs a little bit and Rey feels some of the tension leave her body, although her uncertainty and humiliation and  _ inadequacy _ are all still swimming in the forefront of her mind. “I love being with you. You make me feel so, so good, so much better than—“ he looks at his hand and scoffs. 

“But,” she says, face wrinkling, “but then why won’t you make those sounds for me?” Her voice cracks a little on the end. 

Ben looks absolutely bewildered. “Because,” he stutters. “Because men don’t— men don’t  _ whine and whimper _ like that, Rey. It’s— it’s really embarrassing.” He’s blushing red again, and Rey’s mind is reeling but she wants to hear him out. “I’ve been told— in the past— that it’s very,  _ very  _ unattractive when guys make sounds like that and it’s  _ really  _ hard for me not to, especially when I’m with you,” he confesses. 

Rey’s mouth opens, she  _ gapes _ . 

“Are you kidding me right now?  _ Ben _ ,” Rey moves a little closer to her boyfriend, she hasn’t touched him at all yet and she can’t stand it now. Ben, who is usually so self assured and so contained, the picture of control, is shaking now. “I  _ love  _ your noises, I’ve been  _ desperate _ for more of them. I don’t know what asshole told you otherwise but—  _ Ben— _ everything about you is,” she shivers. “I love everything about you, and I want to know if I'm making you feel good. Don’t you like it when you make me gasp?” Ben nods, looking a little dazed. “Don’t you like it when you make me cry out, when I say your name? When you know it feels so good I can’t help it.” 

Rey crowds Ben, her hands finds his hips, her nose nudges his and he kisses her gently, whispering  _ yes  _ against her mouth. 

“I want to make you feel good,” she says, “I want you to let go, I want you to trust me.” 

Ben nods as Rey pushes gently on his chest, corralling him back to the bed. He falls willingly, eyes wide and expression a little dazed

It’s quick work, tugging Ben’s briefs down so his cock springs free, a little more than half hard now as she wraps her hand around him. 

Ben doesn’t usually let her touch him like this, preferring to work himself to full length and to cum inside of her pussy with his face hidden, usually after he’s made her cum at least twice. 

But he lets her stoke him now. He’s still a little slick from when she walked in, and there’s lube on his nightstand that she hasn’t seen before; they don’t usually need it. She takes a little more, slicking him up until he’s wet enough to squelch in her hand as she jerks him off. 

She can see Ben’s face pull tight, shutter closed. His hands ball into fists. 

“Ben,” she says softly, “look at me.” 

Ben’s eyes open and he blinks up at her. Rey touches his face with her free hand and Ben whines, letting her cradle him. He bites back another little sound and makes a frustrated little whine. 

“You’re still holding on,” she says, “let go. It’s okay. It’s me and—“ Rey takes a deep breath. “And I love you like this. I love you.” 

Ben groans, it’s not a sound she’s ever heard him make and it makes heat pool low in her belly. She starts to move faster, squeezing tighter. 

Ben starts whining, his face is red and his lips wet with spit as he tucks his chin to look at what Rey is doing to him. His hips are pushing up and he keeps grunting, groaning. 

He is  _ loud. _ Louder than other guys she’s been with, as loud as the best of the solo jerk off videos she’s watched on pornhub. He almost sounds hurt, but knowing it’s pleasure that’s pushing these sounds out of his mouth is heady and delightful. 

Ben has one hand fisted in the sheets and one gripping Rey’s thigh. 

“Ahh—hh—hhh—  _ Reyyy _ ,” he whines, and the sounds coming from his mouth are downright embarrassing, but she has never been more turned on her life. “Ungggg,” he groans, “sh—shit— ah.” 

“That’s it,” she says, whispering in his esr. “You sound so good, I’m so wet right now.” 

Ben make a move, trying to shove the hand on her thigh between her legs but she swats him off. 

“Nope,” she says, smiling at him. 

“Fuck,” he says, closing his eyes. 

“Eyes on me,” she reminds him, and Ben looks at her as she squeezes his cock and he groans again. 

“I’m close,” he tells her, and Rey nods, using her free hand to slip her shorts down and kicking them off. 

“Are you gonna cum?” Rey asks him, and Ben nods. “Tell me.” 

“I’m gonna cum,” he grits out, and his voice— which is always so low— is higher now, almost grating. “I’m gonna fucking cum.” 

“Keep your eyes open, Ben, keep them on me. Let me watch you, please, you look so good like this.” 

Rey keeps jerking him off, straddling him, bracing her weight on her knees so that the head of his cock just barely grazes her pussy. One hand on his dick, one on his balls. She squeezes gently and then moves to press his perineum, massaging hard with her thumb. 

Ben loses it, he starts grunting like a trapped animal, his eyes dark as pitch, drooling a little out the side of his mouth. 

He keeps his eyes on her, even when she can see that it’s a struggle for him. She doesn’t let him inside of her, instead using her hand to squeeze him as he  _ just barely _ rubs her little hole. 

“Please, please let me cum inside of you, please.” 

Rey lets the very tip slip inside of her but holds her weight above him, not letting him get deeper. She twists her hand and Ben cries out, his face screwing up as she feels the first squirt of cum against her, scalding hot. Ben’s too weak, and too strong— he grabs her hips and slams her body down onto his in one rough movement. Her eyes go wide as she goes from not full at all to fucking  _ bursting _ , no prep. She cries out and is surprised when she cums too, just a little orgasm but solid and real. The heat of Ben’s spend, the look on his face. She’s never watched him cum like this and he gapes at her, blinking tears back out of his eyes as he fucks her once, twice, three times, cock twitching. Rey feels her pussy squeezing him, and he groans in time with her. 

Rey collapses on top of him, head on his chest and she can hear the way his heart is racing. She pressed soft kisses against his skin, gingerly lifting herself off him to slide up his body and kiss his face too. 

“I never want you to hide from me,” she tells him. “I loved that so much.” 

Ben seems momentarily stunned, too spent to answer her with words but his eyes are wet when he nods. Rey slides her body against his, pressing her sticky cunt against his hip. She can feel his jizz leaking out of her but she kind of likes the feeling of rubbing it against him. 

Ben leans down and kisses her, lazily touching her tits through her shirt— unrushed and calm, hands moving over her body for a few minutes before he speaks. 

“If you give me a few minutes and a Gatorade, I bet I could do it again,” he says with a smirk. 

“You’re in luck,” Rey says with a smile, leaving bed to grab her backpack. “Look what I brought.” She pulls out a bottle of blue Gatorade and Ben smiles a shit eating grin. 

“Perfect,” he says, and then he downs the drink and makes good on his word. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you don't already, follow me on [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/violethoure666) :)


End file.
